Just so you know…

taylorswift:

Hey guys,

I’m writing to you with an update I wish I wasn’t giving you, but it’s important and I’m used to sharing important events in my life with you. Usually when things happen to me, I process them and then write music about how I feel, and you hear it much later. This is something my family and I thought you should know about now.

For Christmas this year, I asked my mom that one of her gifts to me be her going to the doctor to get screened for any health issues, just to ease some worries of mine. She agreed, and went in to get checked. There were no red flags and she felt perfectly fine, but she did it just to get me and my brother off her case about it.

The results came in, and I’m saddened to tell you that my mom has been diagnosed with cancer. I’d like to keep the details of her condition and treatment plans private, but she wanted you to know.

She wanted you to know because your parents may be too busy juggling everything they’ve got going on to go to the doctor, and maybe you reminding them to go get checked for cancer could possibly lead to an early diagnosis and an easier battle… Or peace of mind in knowing that they’re healthy and there’s nothing to worry about. She wanted you to know why she may not be at as many shows this tour. She’s got an important battle to fight.

Thank you for caring about my family so much that she would want me to share this information with you.

I hope and pray that you never get news like this.

Love you.

Taylor

I absolutely feel for Taylor right now. I wish I could just give her a hug, a hand to hold, and a shoulder to cry on. Lord knows that is what I needed last year. Since I can’t, my response to her…

Taylor,

First off major hugs and support. This is probably one of THE WORST things to deal with. I have first hand experience here.

It was either late summer, or early fall, it’s kind of a blur at this point when I found out the news: Cancer. Both parents. Simultaneously. I was absolutely bawling. I am honestly not sure 100% what Dad is dealing with, but Mom’s diagnosis was Thyroid cancer. This is the second time I’ve dealt with this with dad. Though the first time was when I was about 3, in the mid-80′s. I don’t remember much of it. Oh and mom had a bit of cancerous cells removed from her back sometime in the 90′s I think. But being 32, and an adult, I just lost it. Hard core. Thank god my bestie knew that if I was calling in the middle of the day it was an emergency and took my call because I could not have dealt with it alone. Even if he did happen to be 1,941 miles (I just Googled the distance) away at the time, in a super duper important production meeting. (Side note: Aren’t besties the bestest?)

Taylor, the road ahead isn’t going to be easy. There will be ups and downs. Even a few lefts and rights. And curve balls you weren’t expecting. I’ve been through friends having major surgery, I had a friend technically die on the operating table…twice (he’s ok now), but the scariest thing ever was hearing that Mom had to have the tumor surgically removed and not being able to be in Phoenix to be with her. The pain, the scared, helpless feelings, they’re very much real. Find someone to talk to. Talk to your mom. Talk to your bestie. Talk to me. (Contact info in the side bar lol.) Talk. To. Someone. It helps. It really does. Hell, write a song about it if you have to. But the worst thing you can do, THE WORST THING is bottle it up.

My mom has sailed through spectacularly with her surgery, her check-ups, and the like. Dad is still doing treatment but is doing well. You didn’t publicly say what kind of cancer it was, which is fine. (Despite what some my say.) Hopefully it was caught in time and she’ll come through this on the other side.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your mom right now.

A friend if you want it, always a fan,

~A

Seriously, I doubt Taylor is ever going to see this but it mades the most sense to write this as if I were writing her a letter in response to her post. Besides who knows if she, an assistant, or some publicist is going through the 120K and counting “notes” that are on the post and might see it since yeah. And hey it could happen! (I also have friends in high places who’ve been known to directly e-mail links to people…as scary as that may be.)
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Failure and Depression. Or what not to mix.

Have you ever had one of those days where it feels like everything you do, have done, and will do has or will lead to failure? That’s how my day has gone today. It started with something small, I forgot to do some promos earlier in the morning. It happens, it’s happened before, it’ll happen again. But then to add insult to injury I messed up a code on the noon news that cause us to not have open mics on-the-air. Yay. Two things with-in an hour of each other. It was more than I could realistically handle today.

I spent the remaining part of the show, the car ride home, and the phone call with mom thinking how much of a failure I am. It’s all part of the depression and anxiety issues that I have probably. But it doesn’t stop. It’s hard to imagine for people, and well somewhat awkward to explain. I have 2 Emmy’s with my name on them. I am directing in s major market. I have friends. I (sort of) have a social life. But yet, a few small things can lead me into a massive tail-spin of depression which has me questioning myself over EVERYTHING. Literally everything. Which is exactly why I sit here trying to explain what is going on in my brain.

And this is just part of it. There’s a lot of things going on with the girlfriend and lack of communication. There’s budget issues. Car issues. General mental health and life issues. Lots of things to pile onto the already down and depressed mood. And well, it sucks. A lot.

I’m not sure how to change it. Or make it better. I have ideas but nothing has lead to anything. Which again makes me feel like a failure. So yeah. It’s a bad cycle and I need to brea it. Soon. Open to suggestions if you have one.

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The Newsroom

Just finished The Newsroom. No spoilers but wow. I’m going to miss that show. It wasn’t a perfect depiction of the news, but it was accurate in that it got the basics down. From the newsroom interactions, to the ethical questions, to the snark in the director’s voice. Sure they took a few liberties on a few things. But it was good.

It’s a shame Sorkin ended the series. It was nice having a show where I saw people like me on TV.

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2014 Albums of the Year

Good read. Even if I’ve only heard of 2 albums on this list.

whatsheheardtoday:

By Deborah Sprague and Kara Tucker

The irony is that with more methods of getting music out there than ever before, actually getting to HEAR it almost resembles more how things were 30-40 years ago.
Back then, there were treasured copies of albums (maybe import), dubbed off tapes, second-and-third generation copies being passed around.
There were only so many radio stations and the record stores were the avenue where your friends and family were the backup.
Record stores continue to disappear as physical sales drop. Even counting digital into the formula, there was just one platinum album – Taylor Swift’s “1989” – this year.
But so many means of connection today mean that now, instead of that second-generation tape, it’s going to be a link sent over social media, a smartphone handed over to listen for a few minutes.
There’s so much out there, so many ways to be introduced to something, that it’s become easier for things to get lost in the shuffle.
With that in mind, consider this your version of what was done by your older families or maybe even yourself. Sure, some of these were on majors and were noticed by decent-sized audience, but there are some you might have missed. Consider this your 2014 version of “Hey, check this out.”

Read More
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