Oh boy. One of those “signs you’re secretly an introvert” lists. Here’s the thing. There’s no secret. Hi. I’m an introvert. So, I know, shockingly I hit on a number of the points. Let’s see here…
1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 9, 10, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 18, 19, 20, 21, 23
Oy Vey that’s a lot of data points that I have just hit there. But again, shockingly I know, it’s not. Let’s put on my nice thinking cap here and analyze this. Ooh won’t that be fun?
Going down the list, and yeah I’ll skip around a few, but I’ll get to some of them later….
Small talk. Oh yeah am I terrible at it, and well, find it incredibly annoying when I have to do it. Especially if it’s one of those situations where people have 1) a perception of me that gravitates to the male end of the spectrum or 2) it’s not with fellow media people. Then again, even with media people I have issues when I’m in a crowd or at a networking event or a party or something. I never really got the whole art of networking. So yeah. 1, 4. Nailed it lol.
Now, let’s go all the way back into the past. All the way…to the year 2000. (Insert the guy from Conan saying “in the year two thoooousand” here.) Or well more appropriately, college. So not really strictly 2000, more like 2000-2004. I learned quickly my Freshman year that I *despised* the big “pay for a Red Solo Cup here, the keg is over there, now mingle” types of parties. I just…felt so out of place. If I did go to something like that I tended to look around for someone I knew. (2) Which for me was hard because I knew so few people back in those days. And well…because I have a hard time making friends due to some underlying social issues that come along with other facets of a me. I always felt, well, alone. (3) So yeah, parties really sucked for me. I just never got the appeal of them. (19) If I was being social, I’d much rather it have been a party with just friends, like the ones Justin and Matt had in Humphrey. Or even the old annual Korporate Christmas parties. (Ironically, it’s amazing that I never ran into some of my current friends at those, given how many people we had overlapping the entire time I was in Milwaukee.) But this also is why bullet 13 exists. Because probably the only thing more scary than having to be at a party, in a crowd, making small talk is…audience participation. Yucky. Just let me watch a show in peace please.
And yes, while talking about friends and social. I do screen calls. (14) There are a few friends who I will always take a call from. But those are exceptions to the rule. And this is also why I tell people I’d rather be texted than called if possible. And I do have periods where I need to be social. I just need it. (23) It’s usually followed by the “uuuuugggggghhhh. I have to be social now.” periods.
To say I’m easily distracted is a giant understatement. Like when there is a lot of people around. And I have to pay attention to things. It’s hard. I’ve been known to be at like the Mall with friends and be like “zomg too much stimulation. don’t know how to process… So what were we talking about?” (6) And this of course plays hand-in-hand with the fact that yes, not only do I get distracted if I’m given too much stimuli all at once, but I also will start to shut myself down after having had to be social for a long period of time with no chance of being alone. Seriously… I will zone out if I don’t get to recover. And some times the shutting down does include my ability to properly form a thought. (10)
Which is why, downtime, number 7, gets interesting. On one hand, I really appreciate a nice stretch of doing nothing. Like. Reading. Or marathoning Dr. Who on Netflix. Stuff like that. Especially if I’ve had to be extremely social (see previous). But at the same time, I have this nagging “you really should be doing something, you know?” Which, oh yeah, is ALSO on the list. 16. That inner monologue that happens. Oh boy and she keeps me awake at night sometimes. Or well maybe that’s the cat. But the brain doesn’t help the situation at all. Like right now. “Oooh. Comfy pants.” “Maybe you should eat something?” “Ugh I feel like hell.” “Braaaaaaaaaaaaains.”
Ok. Back on track after doing some jumping around here. 9. It does not apply to just the subway, or well in my case light rail. It applies to the bus, planes and cars too. I hate sitting in the middle. A LOT. It makes me feel like I’m going to have to interact with the people around me. And well. I don’t like doing that. Especially while flying.
Of the rest of what is remaining that applies to me… I will say that it’s a giant “yep” to 12. Which is probably why I’m a really good Director. And really good at running OverDrive. But then again, 15 helps a lot. Though, it sometimes pisses off people around me. Especially when I notice small things that co-workers might not. Oh and 20. It doesn’t just apply to looking at the big picture in life. I tend to want to have a plan for a show a week out, especially if there is an out-of-the-ordinary guest on it. (Which if you know how a newsroom works, doesn’t usually happen.) 18, 21…I’ve heard at various points. What people don’t understand, specifically on 21, is that it takes a significant amount of energy for me to be outgoing and participatory. And sometimes I just can’t spend that capital on being social.
What is interesting to me is that there are, likewise, a few points that I don’t think really apply to me. Or well might but not directly. 22 for example. I’ve been told by some good writers that I’m a good writer but I don’t feel it. I’m not at all good with words. I can tell a story better through the lens of a camera than I can through words. And 11 was not so much my relationship, as it is friends. I can think of a couple of friends who are VERY much extroverts. The one relationship I had with an extroverted girl didn’t go well. 5 I just don’t comprehend. I don’t think I’ve ever heard it. 8 terrifies the crap out of me talking in front of people. Though, interestingly, I can talk on the radio like all day if you’d let me. Just…don’t put a camera on me. Oh, and my test results don’t agree with 17 either.
So yeah. Have fun? That’s my analysis of myself, as based on an über scientific HuffPo article.